You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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