I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
