just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are two peas in an std pod
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
