That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
