Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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