Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
