We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i think my cat just said my name.
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