you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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