i'm lost and i look like a hooker
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
