I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
