It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
