He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
