how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
