I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
