what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
