I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
