you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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