just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
