I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize