How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
