I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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