North Korea, Best Korea!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she woke up with a sticky ear
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
