I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
