Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
