Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
