I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
