im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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