I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
