You can't special order awesome
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
