Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need to align my fucking chakras
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