i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles