Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle. http://tfl.nu/bjh3
  Replies (5) Good night (1017) Bad night (2999)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  everyone's regretting their thursdays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird? (203): everyone's regretting their thursdays. http://tfl.nu/3lei
  Replies (7) Good night (4233) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/2tuo
  Replies (15) Good night (1056) Bad night (3598)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl. http://tfl.nu/u7lt
  Replies (22) Good night (4425) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb
  Replies (6) Good night (1082) Bad night (2420)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering http://tfl.nu/lidm
  Replies (9) Good night (3375) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face. http://tfl.nu/boco
  Replies (10) Good night (2096) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/5vu2
  Replies (5) Good night (1618) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me http://tfl.nu/3gz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1316) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies. http://tfl.nu/geoh
  Replies (13) Good night (1310) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks. http://tfl.nu/p1dl
  Replies (6) Good night (1858) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup http://tfl.nu/p78v
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude you're not even a fucking science major

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture (410): dude you're not even a fucking science major http://tfl.nu/vino
  Replies (4) Good night (1131) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus http://tfl.nu/ryiv
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college http://tfl.nu/kc8a
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (271)

Randomize