he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..