He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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