Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now