I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion