I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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