Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
