Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
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he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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