I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
