His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
