are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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