Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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