Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
