I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
