Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
