Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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