i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
