Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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