some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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