He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
