she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
