that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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