see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
