i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
