he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
