I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
