I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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