I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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