she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
