I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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