I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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