There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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