Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize