yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
