My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
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It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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