So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
