Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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