Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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