??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
do herpes really smell.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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