i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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